The endless war

All my life, the Middle East has been synonymous with the war between Israelis and Arabs. This tiny area is a festering wound that has poisoned the entire world, with a now permanent world-wide threat of terrorism that finds its roots in this senseless dispute over a strip of land.

There's no unmaking Israel. Whether Jews had a right to be given a country or not, now it's there, and all its residents have a right to live like anyone else who finds themselves in this world through the accident of birth. It's not their fault that they were born and raised in Israel.

So do Palestinians have a right to live in dignity. So why don't both sides just let each other get on with their lives, and stop boring all the rest of us silly.

Here's my cliche for the outgoing year of good riddance, which they should write down in bold Hebrew and Arabic lettering on their respective flags: "Live and let live". Amen.

Sheer xenophobia

Yet another 139 black people, screamed today's l-Orizzont headline. They didn't say "black people" but it was implied very clearly by means of the picture accompanying the title. It's headlines like this that contribute to the rising tide of xenophobia in Malta. The TV Malta report about the day's newspapers gave prominent exposure to the title, but no comment whatsoever on the xenophobic undertone. In fact, the reporter went along with the tone adopted by this "left-wing" (hah!) daily.

BAN ALL ARMS AND WEAPONS!

I promised I would shut up during the merry-making of Christmas and the new year. But I cannot shut up. Not while Israel and Hamas are pounding each other with rockets. Not when a madman dressed up as Santa Claus opened fire and killed nine in California. Not while, literally on top of such horrible news items, a Sunday paper wishes "a happy new year to all".

It would be so nice if it really turned out to be a happy year for everyone. But, apart from ill health and natural disasters, which can only be partially mitigated, people are inflicting untold hardship on each other through maniacal violence, aided in no small way by the weapons industry.

I've said it before, and I'll never stop saying it, unless the evil implements are eradicated from the face of the earth: there's no place in a civilised world for arms and weapons. Their only purpose is to kill people, and are therefore intrinsically immoral. The only justifiable possession of a weapon I can think of would be an immobiliser to be used in extreme and dangerous situations by the forces of law and order.

This should be one of the main aims of the world for the twenty-first century. Along with the eradication of hunger, disease, poverty and ignorance, we need to stamp out violence, and the instruments of violence. Disputes need to be reasoned, not fought. All weapons should be collected or handed in and destroyed. Possession of a weapon should be considered a serious crime. An international pact should be signed by all the nations of the world, that bans production, storage and use of all weapons. PEOPLE SHOULD FOR NO REASON NEED TO KILL EACH OTHER!

There. That's my wish for the new year. I know. I'm a hopeless idealist.

'Tis the season to be jolly

taralalala tara lala. Unfortunately, being jolly is not really my forte, so I'd best shut up for a while, lie low, and wait for January to resume my merry commentary, which will probably be much more in tune with that time...

By the way, my better half and dear lifetime partner has pointed out that there are such things as gas-fuelled fireplaces. So the fireplaces behind both the President and the Prime Minister were not magical or computer simulations after all. Although, I still feel that a gas fuelled fireplace is not really the 100% genuine article.

But, as long as it serves its function of providing warmth and a pleasant backdrop... Yes, I should definitely shut up.

Christmas platitudes

It's not that Malta's Prime Minister is the only source of platitudes. Far from it. But he's a potentially rich source, and I look forward to compiling a good collection of gems from him... spiced up by great quotes from other personalities that make this world such an interesting place.

I have to admit that during the televised Christmas messages by the Maltese nation's symbolic and actual rulers, namely the President, the Prime Minister and the Archbishop, I could only hear occasional snippets consisting of single words amid the din of the jolly Christmas eve celebrations. Not surprisingly, the only words I remember hearing were "familja" and "solidarjeta' ".

I also remember thinking:

1. How do these persons manage the impressive feat of producing different 20-minute long platitudes each Christmas?

2. That the fireplace on one side behind the Prime Minister was either:

• a miraculous fire that keeps exactly the same volume and intensity without being fed any wood at all; or
• a computer simulation.

Mdina - Spinola 2008 - 1h15:38

Just a few hours after landing in Malta, I put on my running gear and took a lift from Spinola Place to Mdina, to take part in the race that I have done most of all, the 10.8 mile Mdina - Spinola. This was my 14th participation in the event, that I had done for twelve successive editions, with a three-year interruption due to my move to Belgium, to be resumed in 2007 - who knows, maybe for another run of twelve successive editions... ...

It was the first time I raced since 2 May, and the result was quite evident as I ran just like a beginner - way too fast in the first half, fading away to a jog in the last part. At least I did manage to overcome the urge to stop running. That would have been too awful. I also managed to recover part of my strength to resume competing with my rivals in the last kilometre, for a finishing time that is not too bad, and which I know can be improved next time by adopting a more cautious approach.

AND I managed to put on a big smile as I saw my good friend Derek Moss, who had promised to lurk close to the finish with his camera to immortalise various participants' last few metres of this race. Thanks Derek!

It was good to meet so many of my old Maltese running friends :-)

Mdina - Spinola 21 December 2008: Official results

How to run a marathon - 9 - tempo runs

Week 11 of the beginner's schedule to running a marathon introduces the tempo run. I discovered the tempo run quite by accident. I wanted to run a regular 10k away from traffic, so I decided to use an athletics track. Up till then I was not very keen on using the track, because I used to be easily bored by the repetition involved. Still, I decided to try it out - 25 laps.

I started off at my normal training pace, setting off my stop watch. I noted the time after one lap, and again at the second. Timing each lap would be something to keep my mind occupied, so I decided to time each lap until completion. Then I noticed something surprising. The third lap was considerably faster than my usual 2 minutes per lap (equivalent to the 8-minute miling that I used to train at in those younger times). In fact, I had chipped exactly 10 seconds off 2 minutes in that third lap: 1m 50 seconds. It's easy to calculate - the seconds count was 10 seconds less than the previous. There's no need to involve the minutes to complicate the calculation.

This phenomenon repeated itself on all subsequent laps, and I ended up running the 10k considerably faster than my normal easy pace. So what had happened? Probably, the fact that I was timing each lap was a stimulus to maintain a solid pace. I attempted the same type of session one week later, with a similar result.

Months, if not years, later, I learned that this type of training is known as a tempo run. It's a form of speed training, where you train your body to keep up a sustained pace for a prolonged period. In fact, at a tempo run, you're running closer to the limit of your anaerobic threshold - the maximum possible oxygen intake and oxygen use at the same rate. Any much faster, and you'll get breathless, having crossed the limit into anaerobic activity, where you run into oxygen debt.

This type of session is very useful to enable you improve your times at races, i.e. by running faster without having to stop three-fourths of the way through exhaustion. You can carry it out at the same place as you do your interval training. Both types of session are quite similar, the difference being that a tempo run is like an averaged out interval session.

Again, you can have variations, the most obvious being the distance run. In fact, at the track I sometimes prefer to do 30 laps, using the first two laps for a warm-up, and mentally splitting the remaining 28 into 7 groups of 4 laps (one mile each). There's a lot of mind games involved in tempo running. To improve endurance at a faster pace, when I was really keen on running a good marathon, I used to do 40 laps - 10 miles - but I think that was a bit too much. Nowadays I'm quite happy to limit my tempo run to 10 km, and I would suggest that a beginner shouldn't exert him or herself more than this.

As for interval training, the same principle of hard day/easy day should apply. We have basically two types of speed training: intervals and tempo running. You may alternate between one and the other on successive weeks. Or within each week (rest, tempo, easy, intervals, easy, rest, long run). Alternation will give you the benefit of both types of training, while the hard day/easy day principle is essential to avoid the risk of overtraining or injury. Rest is necessary to enable regeneration of your muscle tissues.

There. That wasn't bad for a short entry to cover the Christmas period...

Week 11 - Monday to Sunday:
rest - 10k easy - 10k tempo - rest - 10k easy - rest - 80 minutes easy

Week 12 - Monday to Sunday:
rest - 10k easy - 10k intevals - rest - 10k easy - rest - 80 minutes easy

Enjoy your running!

Platitude of the week

CHILDREN'S RIGHTS SHOULD BE GIVEN MORE IMPORTANCE - PM

http://www.independent.com.mt/news.asp?newsitemid=80165

A disastrous day for Maltese workers...

... it will no longer be possible for Maltese workers to be exploited by their employers, to be pressured to work "on a voluntary basis" for more than 48 hours per week:

http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20081218/local/meps-vote-to-restrict-overtime

But it seems Maltese workers don't care about enjoying time with their families after work. They don't care about having time for leisure, to improve their life-work balance, to do some sport, to take up an artistic activity, to enjoy nature, to read, go to the theatre, play with their children. No! All they care about is to work, work, work, long hours of overtime.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Just look at them...

Trade unions all over Europe are rejoicing at the decision by the European Parliament that forbids EU member states from opting out of a ceiling of 48 hours working time per week. But not Maltese trade unions, who want their members to work, work and work themselves silly. They don't campaign for decent wages. No, they want to make up for miserable salaries by working for indecently long hours. This is sheer exploitation, supported and requested by the exploited themselves!

By the way, 48 hours means 8 hours per weekday, plus another 8 hours on Saturday. So, it's not as if overtime is being banned at all.

Malta's "socialist" MEPs have shown the world their truly progressive outlook, by voting against the motion to limit the working week to a maximum of 48 hours. I wonder what they had to say to their European socialist colleagues by way of explanation. Did they take up the Chamber of Commerce's (the employers') stance? Or did they justify their vote on the need for workers to work very long hours to get a decent salary?

Socialists, my foot.

Una bella calmata

E meno male che c'è la pausa natalizia. Servirà per darsi tuttiquanti una bella calmata. Servirà per ricaricare le pile. E servirà anche per riordinare le idee, e riflettere un po'. Ci voleva proprio.

How to run a marathon - 8 - interval training

As explained in How to run a marathon - 7 - speedwork, interval training consists of short bursts of running at a fast pace, with short recoveries done at a slow jog. The aim of this session is quite simple - to be able to run faster, so that once you start taking part in races you'll be able to perform better.

The ideal place for interval training is an athletics track. This could be freely available in your area, or you might need to become a member. If it's too complicated to run in an athletics track, there's a second option - to use a short loop, which need not be perfectly flat. Your best option, in this case, would probably be in a public garden or park, at a time when it's not too crowded, avoiding the possibility of motor traffic. As a last resort, you may choose a loop on the streets in a quiet neighbourhood with little or no motor traffic, taking great care to avoid dangerous blind corners.

The loop chosen should be one that you can complete at your regular easy running pace in around 2 to 3 minutes, i.e. close to 400 to 500 metres. A speed session must always start with a warm up jog of around 8 to 10 minutes. This may consist of 3 to 4 loops, or you could jog from home to wherever you intend to carry out your intervals session. After the warm-up you may wish to do some easy stretching, although I'm not at all keen on this (see How to run a marathon - 7 - speedwork).

At the final few metres of the warm up, take a couple of deep breaths and proceed to run two laps - fast. Not as fast as you possibly can, since you need to repeat this effort several times, but reasonably fast. Imagine you're trying to catch up with someone who is also running. Look at your stopwatch as you complete the first lap - you should complete the second lap at very close to the same time. As you approach the end of the second lap you'll be quite breathless, and your pulse will have rocketed. That's quite normal, and it's the whole point of this type of training. It will enable you to get used to running fast.

After two laps, slow down to a jog. It's better to jog than to give in to the temptation of stopping completely. During this jog, for one lap, you will recover your breath, and at the end of the lap you'll be ready for a second strong effort. Now you should aim to keep the same time for each lap as in your first effort. After two fast laps, you slow down to a jog once again. The pattern, therefore, is this:

4 laps jog - 2 fast/1 jog - 2 fast/1 jog - ... after your 5th or 6th (final) fast effort, the jog recovery should be extended to a total of 4 laps, i.e. about 10 minutes of cooling down. Six fast efforts will result in a total of 25 laps, i.e. 10km (assuming 400 metre laps at a running track). For a non-standard distance loop, which is incidently what I use nowadays, I keep repeating my fast efforts until at least 45 minutes after the start of the training session have elapsed. I then commence 8 minutes of cool down and head straight for a warm shower (it's very cold time at this time of the year...).

There are of course variations to the pattern outlined above. For instance, my very first interval sessions used to consist of four efforts of four laps each, with a one-lap walk in between each effort. But eventually I settled for the more straightforward 2 lap repeats, with a one lap jog in between.

This is a tiring session, but it's very good training for improving speed and the capacity to vary speed as necessary, especially in races and for going uphill. It should be preceded and followed by a day of rest or relatively easy training, i.e. the standard 10k run at an easy pace. To avoid the risk of overtraining or even injury, I think it's best to limit this type of session to one per week.

We will now introduce this session in Week 10 of our beginner's schedule for running a marathon. Here it is:

Week 10 (Monday to Sunday)
rest - 10k easy - 10k intervals - rest - 10k easy - rest - 75 minutes easy

Enjoy your running!

"If you're Maltese, and under 25, you're not allowed in"

Today I paid a bit more attention to the advert on my favourite Maltese radio station, Capital Radio. In fact it's about an "Evening of the stars" including Frank Sinatra and so on, at the Dragonara Casino. The phrase I was interested in, at the very end, was this: "If you're Maltese you need to be 25 years or over, and you have to show your identity card".

This means that if you're, say, Papua New Guinean or Iranian, you don't need to show your ID card. But the point is, how are the morality police at the gates of the Dragonara Casino going to recognise a Maltese citizen from an Iranian? A 24-year-old Maltese citizen, according to our friends from Capital Radio, could gain entry by NOT showing an ID card, and thereby being presumed by the morality police at the gates that they are, say, Argentinians or Albanians. Of course, said police could always suspect that a non-blond(e) person is Maltese, and challenge them to prove that they are not Maltese. The person suspected of being Maltese, however, could always claim that they are not obliged to show any ID card, since they are not Maltese but Albanian.

So, the situation regarding entry into the Dragonara Casino, according to the Capital Radio advert, is this. Blond(e) persons are assumed to be northern Europeans, and can enter without any problem, whatever their age, provided they don't speak any Maltese. Black persons and Asians are also assumed not to be Maltese, so, again not too much trouble for them, they are mature enough to enter the casino, even if they look younger than 25. But if you're young and have a Mediterranean complexion, then you're in trouble. You'd better prove you're not Maltese, otherwise your entry is barred. And, whatever your skin colour, if you look younger than 25, don't say a single word in Maltese, otherwise you will have given yourself away as a Maltese citizen, and therefore you're not mature enough to be allowed entry into the Dragonara Casino.

But then again, maybe the Capital Radio advert got its wording wrong (for a change). Maybe they meant that everyone needs to provide a means of identification. This would make it possible to enforce the discriminatory rule against Maltese nationals who are younger than 25. It still leaves the wide-open question of mixed Maltese-foreign young persons. Are these allowed to enter, or not?

Where are you, European Commission? Can Member States discriminate between EU citizens on the basis of nationality, or not? And if they cannot, what's to be done about this blatant discrimination?

Discrimination on the basis of nationality

According to an advert on my favourite Maltese radio station Capital Radio (the cause of much loud groans due to linguistic howlers, but that's beside the point), some casino or other in Malta (possibly all of them) is bound to require Maltese patrons to prove they are over 25 years of age, by means of an ID card or passport. Only Maltese patrons. If you're not Maltese, and you're younger than 25, you're still allowed into the casino.

This rule - I suppose it's a Maltese law - raises various considerations.

To begin with, according to EU legislation the rule is illegal. EU member states cannot discriminate between EU citizens on the basis of nationality.

That's the first point, and the most fundamental. But there are other considerations, which result from this ridiculous, illegal rule. My question is this: why are Maltese, and only Maltese, under-25's not allowed into the casino? I can imagine one answer to this: because they are not deemed to be mature enough to gamble in such places. If that is truly the reason for the rule, it's thoroughly insulting to all Maltese youngsters, who are considered by their national authorities to be less mature than their counterparts from all over the world. It's also a reflection of the low esteem that the Maltese authorities have of the product of Malta's educational system.

The alternative explanation is just as disgusting. Maybe the Maltese law-makers deem that ALL under-25's are not mature enough to gamble at a casino. But Malta cannot afford to lose the cash that foreign under-25's leave behind them at the gambling houses, so it only protects its own youth from the evil of gambling. Foreign youngsters might just as well lose their souls to gambling as far as we are concerned, so long as they lose their cash as well.

What a disgraceful attitude.

I wonder. What happens to the sons and daughters of mixed Maltese/non-Maltese parents? Is an under-25 who is 'tainted' by Maltese blood allowed to be 'tainted' by the evil of gambling? Is the 50% Maltese DNA overlooked for pragmatic economic reasons? Is the 50% foreign DNA deemed sufficient to make them mature enough to gamble? Illegal, disgraceful and ridiculous.

Vai formica atomica!

Il capitano non c'è, ma il sostituto ce l'abbiamo, eccome...

Ecco come si presenta, Signore e Signori, il futuro pallone d'oro:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SInQgv--caM

How to run a marathon - 7 - speedwork

All training that we have considered up till now consisted of running at an easy pace, just slightly faster than jogging. It's a pace at which the regular long distance runner doesn't get breathless at all, unless he or she is running up a steep hill. The cardiovascular system is in equilibrium - it's working faster than the state of rest, i.e. greater oxygen intake through quicker breathing and faster heartbeat, but at a moderate rate that can be sustained for a long distance. It's called aerobic training, meaning that you're breathing in oxygen at the same rate as you're using it up through physical activity.

But this type of running is rather slow. If you wish to start taking part in races, and having a target event is certainly a strong motivator for your training, you will probably aim to improve your performance. This you can achieve through quality training. A quality training session consists of a speed session or an endurance-enhancing long run.

Your training schedule should ideally consist of an alternation between quality training and easy recovery runs, including a long run once per week, traditionally during weekends, and at least one day per week of no training at all. You will have by now perfected the 10 km run at an easy pace. It's now time to introduce the speed session.

The main types of speed training are called 'intervals', 'tempo running' and 'fartlek' (a Swedish term meaning speed play).

Intervals consist of brief periods of intense running at an anaerobic rate, i.e. using up oxygen at a higher rate than that at which you can take in through breathing, followed by recovery periods of slow jogging, when you literally have to recover your breath.

A tempo run is midway between your normal 10 km run at an easy pace and a 10 km race - let's say at a moderately fast pace. This is very good training for improving BOTH endurance and speed.

Fartlek, meaning 'speed play', is a training session with varying speeds. You set out at a slow warm-up pace, and after 10 minutes or so speed up for, say, the distance between 5 lamp posts, slow down to a jog along a slight uphill, run at a moderately strong pace until you reach some particlar landmark, slow down again, and keep varying the pace according to your whim. It has the advantage that you can regulate the hard bits according to the way you feel, but you need to take care not to be too lazy, otherwise it wouldn't be a quality session at all.

A typical speed session consists of three phases: the warm up, the speedwork, and the cool down. The reason for the warm-up is fairly obvious, and is implicit in the name. Your muscles, and your body as a whole, need a transitional phase to go from a state of rest to one of hard work. If you start running very fast without a warm-up you risk getting injured. A ten-minute jog is the gentle way to ease into a hard workout.

After the warm-up, it's time to do some stretching. In running it's the leg muscles that do most of the work, and it's those muscles that we need to keep most flexible to reduce the risk of strain injuries. Basically, we need to stretch the calves, the quadriceps and the hamstrings for anything from 15 to 30 seconds. DON'T overstretch, otherwise you would risk injuring yourself, and preferably do your stretching when already warmed up.

The speed-work session itself I will describe in the next section, dealing with interval training and tempo runs.

The cool-down is equivalent to the warm-up, but at the other end of the session. It's the transition from a state of hard work to a state of rest, and facilitates the dissipation of the waste products of anaerobic exertion, especially lactic acid, from your muscles.

So, how often should you do speed training? It depends on your number of training sessions per week. The important principle to keep in mind is the alternation between hard days and easy days. Here are some possible typical training patterns:

4 sessions per weekMon: rest; Tue: 10k easy; Wed: speedwork; Thu: rest; Fri: 10k easy; Sat: rest; Sun: long run

5 sessions per week
Mon: rest; Tue: 10k easy; Wed: speedwork; Thu: 10k easy; Fri: speedwork; Sat: rest; Sun: long run

6 sessions per week
Mon: 10k easy; Tue: 10k easy; Wed: speedwork; Thu: 10k easy; Fri: speedwork; Sat: rest; Sun: long run

The pattern you choose depends on how important it is for you to perform well in races, compared to all other non-running aspects of your life. In my beginner's schedule to running a marathon I'm proposing the easiest option based on 4 sessions per week, but this can easily be 'upgraded' to 5 or 6 per week following the models given above.

In Week 9 of our schedule, I'm introducing the first speed training session, which consists of speed play - a 10km run at a pace varying from a jog to a sprint, according to your whims:

Mon - rest
Tue - 10km, easy
Wed - 10k - fartlek
Thu - rest
Fri - 10km, easy
Sat - rest
Sun - 70 minutes, easy

Enjoy your running!

What's good for the goose, is good for Iran

It's rather hypocrytical of the international community to pressurise Iran against developing nuclear technology, which might eventually result in nuclear weapons, when their most prominent members already have a nuclear arsenal big enough to destroy all humanity many times over.

There's nothing wrong with developing nuclear energy, so long as there are strong safeguards for safety and clean disposal of nuclear waste. Nuclear weapons, on the other hand, are utterly wrong. All weapons are immoral, but nuclear weapons are many times worse, because they cause damage that is so much worse than conventional weapons. Therefore, yes, Iran shouldn't be allowed to develop nuclear weapons.

But then, neither should all those other countries be in possession of the same weapons that they are accusing Iran of contemplating to develop. Iran's position is on the lines of, "You have nuclear weapons, then why shouldn't we have them too?" Can't blame them. It's absurd to wave a non-proliferation treaty in someone else's face, when you yourself have been proliferating away to your heart's content for so many years.

Belgium - the language question

I have several times had the occasion to say positive things here about my adopted home country. It's true that the adoption was born of necessity, for if I had the choice I would never have picked Belgium. But that's where the founders of the European Union decided to place their administrative capital, so Belgium it had to be.

Still, although the country has its defects, I have learned to grow fond of the place. Geographically, it's very much in the centre of things. You can go almost anywhere in Europe and beyond without too much trouble. It's also just the right size for anyone who wishes to explore the entire country - and there are quite a few pretty places to visit. It's not so small that you've seen it all within a few months, but neither is it an overwhelming size.

My impression of the Belgians is that they are in general an easy-going people, who are not too pretentious and are in fact a bit conscious of their presumed limitations. Being situated as it is close to various different countries, having accepted a substantial number of immigrants of many nationalities, and the fact that it hosts various international institutions and organisations, Belgium is also the home of a great mix of expatriates, who have settled down remarkably well. As I said, there are defects (never-ending roadworks all over the place, right of way for traffic barging in from side roads) but still, overall, it's a pleasant enough place to live in.

One very interesting aspect of living in Belgium is the language factor. The train I take each morning begins its journey in French-speaking Wallonia, crosses a narrow strip of Flemish, Dutch speaking, territory, and enters bilingual Brussels, where everybody goes to their workplaces or classes. On the train, it's quite normal to have six people sitting in close proximity reading material in six different languages. Or to listen to several different conversations in as many different languages.

It's an interesting aspect, but unfortunately, the Belgians have managed to turn it into a huge problem. Belgium is not really one country. It's an uneasy union between two countries, and from my detached point of view the main cause of the unease is language. It's like a marriage where the partners speak different languages, with both sides taking pride in only speaking their own language, even though with a small effort they could very well speak their partner's language. The marriage is held together by their child, Brussels, which is in fact bilingual.

Some time in the sixties or thereabouts, Belgium became a federal state, consisting of the three regions Wallonia, Flanders and Brussels region. Each region has its own regional government, whose responsibilities include - and this, as I see it, is what resulted in the present shambles - linguistic matters. For political reasons, being the national capital Brussels is officially bilingual, even though the vast majority of its residents are French-speaking. But both Wallonia and Flanders are strictly monolingual, to the point of extremism. All administrative documentation is only written strictly in the region's language. Any signage has to be strictly in the region's language. If by mistake a sign is displayed in two languages, the 'offending' linguistic version is either covered or vandalised. In the seventies, an entire town - Louvain-la-neuve - was constructed in Wallonia to take up French-speaking students who used to attend the Catholic University of Leuven, whose Flemish-speaking majority insisted that it should remain an exclusively Flemish-speaking university. Tourist information booklets in Mechelen are provided in Dutch, English, German and Spanish, but not in French. And so it goes on.

You have an entire country that is split into two halves that officially do not have the means to communicate with each other. And both sides' politicians exacerbate the situation by enacting rules that are ever more intolerant of the 'offending' language. Commercial outlets, ever the pragmatists, do their best to cater to their clients in their preferred language, but under strict supervision by vigilant authorities lest they do not use the official regional language as their default.

This is clearly a ridiculous situation, and is literally tearing the country apart. It took them more than six months after general elections to be able to form a national government, amid much bickering and reciprocal acrimony.

In the meantime, the obvious solution is there for all to see. It's in Brussels. The Brussels population speaks French. There's no doubt about this. And yet, all written and verbal official communications are provided in French AND in Dutch, for the benefit of the Dutch speaking minority. I don't see any reason why this system cannot be applied for the whole country. Neither language will be threatened by this measure. Anyone will remain perfectly entitled to speak in their preferred tongue, without the present intense paranoia and intolerance. It would be compulsory for anyone seeking a decent job to be knowledgeable in both main languages of the country. It would also effectively enable all Belgians to speak to each other.

The federal government should take this crucial matter of national interest within its responsibility. Go on Belgians. Give up some of your linguistic pride, and both you as individuals and your country will make huge gains. Your languages are too strongly integrated into your communities for them to be in any danger. You have a lovely country. There really is no need to allow it to disintegrate.

What a gross product

I despair as I watch the dumbing down of the Maltese language. People, especially media people, make up mistranslations or even dyslexically pronounced words, and drum them into the nation's psyche. The misspelt, mispronounced or mistranslated expressions, through sheer repetition gain "respectability", and eventually official acceptance by linguistic authorities, for whom apparently anything goes as far as linguistic precision is concerned, since according to them it's the people who define language. Including, I suppose, ignorant people.

Therefore, we now have as semi-officially recognised terms:

"armi ta' qerda tal-massa" - weapons for the destruction of mass, or weapons for destruction of the masses (hmmm, I'd better not comment on this one...). It should be "armi ta' qerda massiva", but the Maltese media will of course keep going on about the destruction of mass.

Instead of 'gross domestic product', we have 'domestic gross product' ("prodott gross domestiku - that's what everybody says"). In vain do I point out that it should be 'prodott domestiku gross'. They insist on their beloved domestic gross product. Maybe they are referring to the way the Maltese language is being spoken domestically...

And how about the entire generation of youngsters that was taught, at school, to mispronounce and misspell 'delfin' - dolphin? There actually was a textbook for the teaching of the Maltese language, which proudly bore the dyslexically spelt title "ID-DENFIL" - the dophlin. AAAARGHH!!!