Nies bla sinsla

Il-pulċinelli ddeċidew iwaqqfu bord ta' inkjesta biex jinvestiga l-materjali li qed jagħmlu l-bombi tal-festi bihom.

Isma' din, mela. Għandna suspett li l-materjali li jagħmlu l-bombi tal-festi bihom huma difettużi. Qed isiru splużjonijiet kbar fil-kmamar tan-nar, regolarment kull ftit ġimgħat. Kull darba qed imutu n-nies: ilbieraħ mietu erba' jew ħamsa, u tnejn oħra maħruqa ġisimhom kollu jilagħbuha mal-mewt. Familji sħaħ devastati. Ir-raħal tal-Għarb b'ħafna mid-djar ġratilhom ħsara strutturali. Il-gżejjer Maltin ġew f'sitwazzjoni li tixbah stat ta' gwerra, jew taħt theddida terroristika, ma tafx fejn imiss tfaqqa' splużjoni ġo nofs il-kampanja. Għandna suspett li l-kmamar tan-nar li għadhom ma splodewx jistgħu jisplodu huma wkoll, għax il-materjali li jagħmlu l-bombi bihom difettużi.

U x'inhi t-tweġiba tal-mexxejja għorrief li għandna? Waqqfu l-produzzjoni tal-logħob tan-nar sakemm tiġi stabbilita l-kawża tad-devastazzjoni? Jingħalqu l-kmamar tan-nar, għax perikolużi wisq, sakemm jitneħħa l-materjal kollu difettuż?

Le, ma tarax! Trid jissugraw jiksruha mad-dilettanti tal-kamikaże tradizzjonali? Ma tafx li dawn NIES BLA SINSLA?

Iparlaw fil-vojt fuq il-valuri. Jidhirli l-ħajja valur importanti. Jidhirli s-sens ta' sigurtà għal min għaddej jgħix ħajtu għall-affari tiegħu valur importanti. Jidhirli li l-fatt li t-tfal ma jisfgħux iltiema minn missierhom hu valur importanti. Imma għal dawn in-NIES BLA SINSLA, l-uniku valur huwa l-vot.

Sinjuri NIES BLA SINSLA. Għandkom il-voti tal-fanatiċi tal-bombi assigurati, dejjem jekk jinzertaw jagħmlu parti mill-istess tribù tagħkom. Imma l-vot tiegħi tliftuh.

Kemm paroli fil-vojt

"POWER AND EASTER", qalulna fit-titlu tal-artiklu minn Dottor Jason Azzopardi, parliamentary secretary in the Finance Ministry.

http://www.independent.com.mt/news.asp?newsitemid=104013

Dehrli li kien f'waqtu, l-għada li mar id-dawl f'Malta kollha, għat-tieni darba f'inqas minn ġimagħtejn, li jirreferi għas-sitwazzjoni tal-biki tal-provvista tal-elettriku f'Malta fil-21 seklu. Speċi ta', fil-Ġimgħa l-Kbira ma kellniex dawl, imma għallinqas (nisperaw...) fl-Għid il-Kbir se jkollna provvista normali.

Bdejt naqra, imma mill-ewwel intbaħt li Dottor Azzopardi kien moħħu kompletament fis-sħab, u miljun mil 'il bogħod mir-realtà tal-ħajja hawn isfel. Silta mill-għerf tal-ħabib tagħna Jason:

"Power is the search for the truth. A temporal and existential truth. The transcendental truth that one reaches with a well formed and well informed conscience."

Eh? Jew, kif iħobb jgħid iż-żgħir, WHAT? X'il-mamma mija qed igedwed? Ħeqq, sori, nammetti naqra gażżu u injurant jien, imma dal-intellettwaliżmu finta ma nifhmux. Ngħid għalija power tfisser li nagħfas is-swiċċ u jixgħel id-dawl, mingħajr ma jkolli bżonn immur infittex ix-xemgħat u s-sulfarini bl-għajnuna tad-dawl mill-monitor tal-laptop, li jkun baqa' jaħdem fuq il-batterija...

Ċerti nies tajjeb kieku jinżlu xi ftit 'l isfel mill-istratosfera u jħarsu aktar fil-livell tagħna l-baxxi hawn isfel.

Moviment tad-Dilettanti Moderati u Progressivi

Mela llejla malli xgħelt il-kompjuter nilmaħ email mhux solleċitata - spam - mingħand "The Maltastar Team". Dal-aħħar bdew jimmiraw għalija, qed jaraw fija materjal potenzjali tajjeb biex ningħaqad mal-Moviment ta' Moderati u Progressivi li Saru Jistħu Jgħidu li Huma Laburisti.

"BLACKOUT MONDAY". Anzi t-titlu spellewh sew, ma nafx kif.

Kont se l-aħħar nittikkjah u nassenjah fil-gadget tar-"report spam", ġentilment offrut lili mill-gmail. Imma fettilli ġietni l-kurżità u ddeċidejt li naqrah. Mela ma temminx li kkonvenċewni ningħaqad mal-Moviment! Mela, veru ta!

Le, mhux proprja.

Tal-biki fil-fatt. Biex iħaddmu websajt li suppost trid tikkonvinċi lin-nies jivvutawlhom, l-organu uffiċjali elettroniku tal-"Moviment" li m'għadux partit iqabbdu nies li bilkemm kapaċi jiktbu sentenza li hi waħda sew. Tliet snin oħra dawn iridu jibdew imexxu, mhux websajt, imma lil Malta.

Ara x'kitbuli The Maltastar Team [il-kummenti bil-bold żidthom jien]:

On Blackout Monday we all found out how the 2438 who had their electricity supply cut off in 2009 feel [what's Blackout Monday, and 2438 what?]. This figure is a national disgrace, as was Blackout Monday. How dare the PM boast that the recession is lifting with this appalling human statistic [as opposed I suppose to an animal statistic]? No wonder Joseph Muscat talks so rightly of this human recession [What quality makes a recession human? Maybe it's because it's human that Joseph isn't talking wrongly about it ]. That is not lifting at all [Eh? What? WHAT?].

It is not only this country that was blacked out yesterday. It seems the entire government is, and has been, suffering from a collective blackout as to what is really happening on the ground, how expensive life is, how unsustainable our water and electricity bills are, and how impossibly expensive a trip to the pharmacy has become? [Is this last sentence a question or a statement?]

And it's not just families and individuals who are suffering [no, it's also us recipients of insipid, badly written spam from The Maltastar Team]. A not so grand total [so it's not a lot then?] of 10,657 businesses are more than 45 days late in paying their bills. They owe around 44,000,000 euros to this country, but cannot pay [The fact that they haven't paid doesn't mean that they cannot pay, it's just that they thought the rates would be revised. And by the way, in the plural "euro" remains the same].

This is a government in denial of the collapse of basic services which it has brought about through weak management, or management that has the most blatant conflict of interest. The name Alex Tranter illustrates this [What's so conflicting in the name Alex Tranter? Seems quite a sensible name to have]. He must be glad he is leaving [Why? Maybe he received a hefty electricity bill himself?]. Having improved little of substance. Having overseen a contract given to his boss of 200 million euros? Having to stand near another Minister to explain away another blackout? [Hey, Maltastar Team, a sentence by default ends with a fullstop NOT with a question mark]

Let's now look at how people are reacting to the government's handling of key and essential services to this country. Let's look at the true track record which comes out so clearly in answers to questions tabled in Parliament? [Another question mark. Perhaps they're a bit unsure of themselves...]

A grand total of 51,500 complaints have been received by ARMS, the company which processes water and electricity bills, since its inception last January. [They seem to like the word "grand". Maybe they think it gives the write-up a grandiose aura. Instead, it creates further confusion. Here it feels as if it's used in sarcasm, as if a larger number was expected. If they can't write properly in English, why don't they stick to Maltese? Or can't they do that, either?] Worse around a hundred people a month are now, in 2010 also having their supply cut off [ignorance of punctuation rules renders this sentence into perfect nonsense]. This is before we all get the higher bills! These presumably didn't notice the blackout yesterday. Almost two thousand are trying to pay off their bills in installments. [Logical sequence? What's that?]

Not surprisingly, amidst all this, Gonzi PN chose to tell us this last week that the recession is lifting. How ironic. Instead of this kind of spin which is all about playing with numbers, and does not reflect in any way how bad things are, why doesn't Gonzi PN concentrate on what the people are so worried about?

For such a huge percentage of the population to complain something must be terribly, terribly wrong. [What? Where? Which huge percentage? None have been quoted]

Nobody's salary has gone up to take account of these bills, unless perhaps you are one of the senior executives at the Lotto and Gaming Authority, who we hear, have been awarded bill cushioning increases lately, or you are one of these newly appointed Parliamentary Assistants who are getting an allowance which they can, if they wish use to help them to pay these bills at least.

Mind you since they all voted in favour of the increased bills they probably didn't need this allowance ! [In fact, they also enjoy paying taxes, which is why they haven't outlawed them]

This government is past it's sell by date. Blackout Monday brought this home to even some PN diehards. [It should be "its" without an apostrophe, meaning "belonging to it". With an apostrophe it means "it is". Zero for grammar. Zero for clarity of expression. Go back to school and learn how to write properly, maybe you'll rise above primary school level. By the way, I do agree with you about the sell by date. The only problem is that the alternative would be you - UTTER AMATEURS!]

Ara naqra wkoll min għandna alternattiva biex imexxi 'l Malta minflok l-Arċisqof Gonzi...

Iva, naħseb

Barra minn Malta xi nisa jfittxu l-pubbliċità għalihom infushom billi jippużaw bla ħwejjeġ għal xi rivista jew kalendarju. F'Malta issa għandna lil Ira Losco li biex takkwista ftit pubbliċità QALET li probabbli tkun lesta taċċetta tippoża bla ħwejjeġ.

U jien ċert li s'hemm biss se tasal. Kif kien qal xi Malti, mill-kliem għall-fatti hemm baħar jikkumbatti. Ma qalitx Ira, pereżempju, x'ikunu ċ-ċirkostanzi biex probabbli tippoża bla ħwejjeġ. Ngħidu aħna, kif hemm min jagħmel, tippoża għal xi pittur? Ħeqq, kif kitbuhielna t-Times, tista' anki tfisser li tippoża waħidha quddiem il-mera: "Singer Ira Losco answers some quick questions by Christian Peregin and says she would probably be willing to pose naked because she is “not holier than thou”."

Ma impressjonajtniex Ira ħi. Dal-aħħar saret moda kulħadd għat-taparsi jippoża ta' li hu xi qaddis. Issa Ira qed tippużalna ta' li mhix xi qaddisa. Nemmnuhom? Mela, ejja nkantaw flimkien, a one, a two, a one two three: Parole, parole, parole...

Almost all couples want their marriage to succeed!

According to The Times of Malta, this earth-shattering revelation was uttered by an "expert" - theologian Aldigonde Brenninkmeijer.

This is how they entitled this incredible piece of news:

Almost all couples want their marriage to succeed - expert

Eureka!

I wonder where the world would be without the knowledge imparted to us by such wise experts. There I went, thinking that people went into marriage hoping that it would fail. Thank you, Mr theologian Aldigonde Brenninkmeijer. Thank you, The Times, for relaying this important information to us deluded ignoramuses.

'Tis the season to be jolly

taralalala tara lala. Unfortunately, being jolly is not really my forte, so I'd best shut up for a while, lie low, and wait for January to resume my merry commentary, which will probably be much more in tune with that time...

By the way, my better half and dear lifetime partner has pointed out that there are such things as gas-fuelled fireplaces. So the fireplaces behind both the President and the Prime Minister were not magical or computer simulations after all. Although, I still feel that a gas fuelled fireplace is not really the 100% genuine article.

But, as long as it serves its function of providing warmth and a pleasant backdrop... Yes, I should definitely shut up.

Christmas platitudes

It's not that Malta's Prime Minister is the only source of platitudes. Far from it. But he's a potentially rich source, and I look forward to compiling a good collection of gems from him... spiced up by great quotes from other personalities that make this world such an interesting place.

I have to admit that during the televised Christmas messages by the Maltese nation's symbolic and actual rulers, namely the President, the Prime Minister and the Archbishop, I could only hear occasional snippets consisting of single words amid the din of the jolly Christmas eve celebrations. Not surprisingly, the only words I remember hearing were "familja" and "solidarjeta' ".

I also remember thinking:

1. How do these persons manage the impressive feat of producing different 20-minute long platitudes each Christmas?

2. That the fireplace on one side behind the Prime Minister was either:

• a miraculous fire that keeps exactly the same volume and intensity without being fed any wood at all; or
• a computer simulation.

Platitude of the week

CHILDREN'S RIGHTS SHOULD BE GIVEN MORE IMPORTANCE - PM

http://www.independent.com.mt/news.asp?newsitemid=80165